


Psych: The Musical

by blipblopblork



Category: Psych
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Musicals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blipblopblork/pseuds/blipblopblork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A musical about a murder within a musical about a murder, starring our favorite pseudo-psychic and friends!</p><p>(No relation to the official episode of the same name, besides that they're both awesome, and both musicals - this piece was written 3 years ago.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Psych: The Musical

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is, of course, a musical, that means that there's actual music! I couldn't write instrumental music if there was a gun to my head (but if you want to help me arrange this, that would be awesome. Volunteers? Anyone, anyone... Bueller?), so instead, you get to listen to me singing all the parts all by my lonesome on soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/blipblopblork/theres-always-a-mystery It isn't pretty, but it gets the melody across - just use your imagination and picture lots of dancing cops.

**GUS**   _(to audience)_ **:**  Oh, hey guys.  Shh… try to keep quiet, I don’t want Shawn to know I’m here.  Just trying to slip in and grab some stuff from the Psych office here before I head to the next stop on my sales route.  You guys haven’t seen him, right?  Brown hair, about this tall, likes to pretend he’s psychic and drag me away from my real job to go solve crimes every chance he gets.  What?  Why are you all staring at me like that?  Is it because I’m wearing pink?  Because I’ll have you know that pink for men is very in this season, there’s nothing feminine about it!  Oh, that wasn’t it, was it?  Hmm…  It’s because of this whole musical business, isn’t it?  Yeah, that’s right, don’t act like you didn’t know about that.  According to this script I got, I’m the narrator, and that means not only do I know you’re all out there, I can break the fourth wall whenever I want to, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Oh yeah, and guys – I know about the TV show too – that you watch us all the time.  Seriously guys, that’s just twisted.

  
 _(vamp for There’s Always a Mystery)_

  
**GUS:**  Okay everybody, you can stop staring at me now.  It’s starting to weird me out... it’s like you’re all waiting for me to burst into song or something.  (obvious cue note in vamp) Wait a minute… that’s exactly what you’re doing, isn’t it? (obvious cue note in vamp, again) Well you know what?  I’m not going to do it!  I’m not going to sing for you like I’m some ridiculous fictional character who exists solely for your entertainment!  So you all can go on home, there’s nothing to see here.  (Gus sighs)  You’re not going to let me off the hook that easily, are you?  Fine, I’ll do it, but you owe me one.

 ****  
Song: There’s Always a Mystery  


 **GUS**   _(reluctantly)_ **:**

_I wake up in the morning and I roll out of bed,_  
 _and there’s always the same thought brewin’ in my "magic head"_  
 _Every morning I pray it will be just another day,_  
 _but I know that my best friend won't let things stay that way_

  
**GUS:**  Okay there, I sang for you.  Can I stop now?  Sheesh, you people.  
  


_'Cause there's always a mystery waiting to be solved_  
 _And a case isn't a case until the psychic’s involved_  
 _‘Cause my best friend’s a pseudo-psychic_  
 _who can always make me see_  
 _that there's always a mystery_  
  
 _And while I'm out selling pills and drugs,_

  
**GUS:**  Not that kind of drugs, guys!  _(to audience)_  Sorry!   _(to pit)_  Can we start that again?  
  


 _And while I'm out selling pills and drugs,_  
The SBPD detectives are out catching thugs,  
And while I’m trusting them to put crime in it’s place,  
You know that Shawn will waltz right in,  


  
 _(SHAWN enters)_  
  
 **SHAWN:**  Hey Gus, we've got another case!

 __  
(The boys fist bump)  
 ****  
GUS: You know that’s right!  
  
 **GUS AND SHAWN:**

_'Cause there's always a mystery waiting to be solved_  
 _And a case isn't a case until we’re both involved_

  
**SHAWN:**

 

 _Yes, I’m the SBPD’s Head Psychic_  
And I sense I can make you see  


  
 **GUS AND SHAWN:**

_that there's always a mystery  
_

__  
(enter CARLTON, JULIET, BUZZ, and cops)  
  
 **GUS AND SHAWN:**

_So we head down to the station to go meet our cop friends,_

  
**GUS:**

_Sway Vick’s decision,_

  
**SHAWN:**

_fake some visions,_

  
**CARLTON:**  Damn psychic’s at it again!  
  
 **GUS AND SHAWN:**

_Although we owe half our success to our pals Lassie and Jules,_  
 _They’re solving crimes and every time,_  
 _they look so badass and cool._

****  
SHAWN: _And I sense that in their hearts they both think psychics rule!_  
  
 **JULIET:**  I do!  
  
 **CARLTON:**  Spencer…  
  
 **ALL:**

_'Cause there's always a mystery waiting to be solved_  
 _And a case isn't a case until the psychic’s involved_  
 _‘Cause Shawn’s our favorite psychic_  
 _who can always make us see_

  
**SHAWN:**   _(makes weird noises)_  
  
 **JULIET:** What is it Shawn?  
  
 **SHAWN:**  I’m getting a vision…  there’s singing, and dancing, and… cats…  
  
 **BUZZ:**  Cats?  
  
 **SHAWN:**  …and a creepy guy with a mask, and a man with a tiny violin standing far too far from the ground…

  
 **JULIET:**  Oooh, I know, I know! They’re all musicals! It’s a musical!  
  
 **SHAWN:**  Yes!  But wait, there’s more…  
  
 **CARLTON:**  Spit it out, Spencer.  
  
 **SHAWN:**  Murder.  
  
 **ALL:**   _(gasp)_  
  


 _'Cause there's always a mystery waiting to be solved_  
And a case isn't a case until we’re all involved  
‘Cause Shawn’s our favorite psychic  
who can always make us see  
that there’s always a mystery  


  
 **END: There’s always a Mystery**  
  
 _(enter KAREN)_  
  
 **KAREN:**  Mr. Spencer, in my office, now!


End file.
